Back from the gym. First time in over a week and I’m surprised it went so easily. I was also contacted by a fellow who is writing a piece about a barbershop chorus that I conducted over 40 years ago. Could he talk to me? What do I remember? OMG. He can certainly talk to me. But there’s very little that I remember. Interesting. It was an important part of my life way back then, but what has come with me to here and now from there and then? Very little apparently. At least consciously. Is there anything unconscious that has affected my life? By definition, I guess I’ll never know.
Okay. It’s the start of a new month and time to review why I’m doing these blog posts. First, because I was challenged to do so back on New Year’s Eve… to do something outside of my comfort zone. Second, to check on what these blogs have been focusing on… how things are progressing in terms of getting the integral teachings out there.
Well, with a third of the year been here and gone, the blog posts have continued unabated, and the progress on the teachings have been less than daunting. Yes, I have continued writing, have spoken at the Fellowship, and made gentle steps into the outside world. But nothing major has happened, the movers and shakers are not moving and shaking in my world, and wheels are still spinning. There have been some major personal breakthroughs in understanding and revelation, but they have all been personal. Five months to go.
It’s been one of those days. I really don’t want to do anything but nap. So I will.
There is a definite difference in feeling that I have to do something to get my teaching out there vs. simply responding to inputs that come to me and by so doing, my teachings will get out there… to whatever degree they are supposed to. We are so tied to results, above and beyond simple experiencing what we are doing, that we lose the joy of the experience. itself. What a waste. For some reason, that subtle difference has reached me after all these years and there is a great feeling of relaxation as I live my understanding and let things fall as they may. May it prove the same for you.
Hospice day. It simply amazes me. Here I am standing by the bedside… praying for the person who is lying in the bed. Trying to feel se feelings… physical… mental… spiritual. Praying in se religion, to the One. “May what is supposed to happen, happen”, I say, ” and without pain or suffering for anyone.” And I mean it with all my heart.
And that is what amazes me. I… this little piece of meat writing this post… who grew up believing God did not exist. Now… here ‘I’ am… this significantly older piece of meat… knowing the exact opposite is true. Praying with all my heart to the Oneness for the welfare of another… knowing the power of prayer. “I” lives within us all as our very own… I. My prayers come inward towards the One. And to think… I once didn’t even know ‘I’ exist.
Heading down to the Institute within a few minutes to join a going away party for my friend and mentor who is being “retired” to Emeritus status. The school has been moving farther and farther away from the philosophy under which it was founded… which, as it turns out, is what I teach and what the New Consciousness is all about. All the movers and shakers will be there, saying nice things about my former teacher while actively working to undermine everything he stands for. I don’t know what will happen, but I do know I will keep my cool.
Let go. Let it happen. I’m seeing things that I’ve wanted to do, that I’ve wanted to have happen, begin to take place. No one knows that I’ve visioned it long ago. Who cares? They don’t. I shouldn’t. there are tales of shamans and holy men sitting in the Himalayas visioning a perfect world. No one knows who they are. No one knows what they are doing. Are they helping improve the world? Tune in a hundred years from now and see if humanity is still around.
I’m torn between what to post.
On one hand, I will be talking with my tech maven tonight who plans on putting some of my writing on line on a new website devoted to “Higher Consciousness” writings. This was his idea and came less than a week after I decided to stop pushing my stuff and let the universe set the pace. This is good.
On the other hand, I heard on the radio this morning that another social activist was hacked to death by religious fanatics in India. This is bad. Very bad.
So what do I write about? Which is more important? Which is going affect more people? At the moment, the answer is obvious. In the long run? Who knows. I do know, however, that other than sending my love and healing energies out into the world, one of these things I cannot affect at all. The other cannot even occur without some effort on my part. Therefore, the answer is clear. I will write about both and then get on with the one I can do something about.
Finally, a day with nothing on the agenda. Just let it flow. Make breakfast… Read the paper… Watch a ball game… Play on-line Scrabble. What a difference from yesterday. Even though yesterday was all good, just floating in space with no where to go and nothing to do can be just what you need. Enjoy.
It was a busy day. Started with yoga. We did twists. Then pick up the wife back at the apartment and off to the park for our six year old god-daughter’s birthday party… lots of beautiful kids and great food. Then shopping at four different stores in preparation for hosting dear friends and their nine year old daughter for drinks and dinner back at the apartment. Great time. Followed by a huge living room, dining room, kitchen clean-up. Then back here, sit down to unwind with some tv and a sudoku… and suddenly realize…
I HAVEN’T POSTED TODAY!!!
Get up and running and onto the site with less than 1 minute to go. Hit Add New Post… it takes forever… page finally shows… type in Day… hit publish… and look at the clock on the computer. 11:59:48… will it? will it? YES!!! I published before midnight. Everything you have read here was added later. Timing is everything.