It is my mother’s birthday.  She died in 2008, but were she alive, she’d be 98 today.  We had our things as all mothers and sons do… yet I am truly appreciative of her and what she taught me and also often feel her presence, especially when I am doing creative writing.  She was a very good short story writer, especially science fiction.

Our social life is busy.  I’d say there’s too much going on, but as long as we are handling it all and having fun doing so, I guess it’s not too much.  For example… had friends over for corned beef and cabbage celebrating St. Patrick two nights ago.  Had dinner and cocktails at a different friend’s place last night, going out for sushi with a third set of friends tonight, and having our son and daughter-in-law over for brunch, board games, and dinner on Sunday to celebrate their anniversary.  And this morning, just to keep the body under control, went to yoga and spent at least half an hour upside down.  Talk about putting things in perspective.  Life is good.

peace…………ag

There is a strange sense of anticipation and relaxation occurring  at the same time.  As I look forward to April 10th… I really should do an astrological look at that date… there is a feeling that I, me, ag, is just a little dot on a map somewhere, unimportant in the overall scheme of things, but nevertheless, completing a journey that has been a long time in coming.

It is a big thing to say that I feel “I” inside and have become ‘I’. It is a bigger thing to say that ‘I’ am able to teach this to others, or at least to bring them to the point where they can realize it for themselves.  Some could even say that it is a form of chutzpah to say this.  Yet, it feels right.  And I know that I can stand in front of a group and not only tell them what I know but answer any question they may come up with.

I am a teacher of New Consciousness.  And it only took 75 years to get here.  Now what?

peace……….ag

So much happening as the space ship slowly backs into port… and docks.  It’s been a long trip.

I finally know who I am.  I am a teacher of The New Consciousness.  My job is to share the teachings of Sri Aurbindo and Dr. Haridas Chaudhuri with as many people as I can.

peace……………..ag

I feel like I’m working too easily.  I’m used to pushing and working hard to try to make things happen… and I am so intense on what I want to have happen that I feel somewhat guilty if I don’t work hard now.  Then ‘I’ go inside and see it all play out and know that 75 years of following a path and believing in a future and wanting to be happy and of value to others would not all go down the drain if I don’t put in 14 hour work days.

And so I will drive my wife to her client and then go to the gym to swim. Keeping my body in shape… that’s part of what I have to do, isn’t it?  Then back home and keep reaching out… making contacts… less than one month now till touch down.

peace……ag

Did a lot yesterday.  Wrote emails, reworked flyers, talked on phone, got a volunteer to video the lecture… as long as I find a camera, and had my fashionista make suggestions for my wardrobe.  I didn’t even know I needed to have those things done.  They just came up as I was living the day.

I have been realizing the if the lecture and workshop go as I visualize, my life will change. Is that what I really want?  Is that what “I” really want?  Why would I have all these skills, talents, abilities, etc. if not to use them?  Sometimes I think too much.

peace……..ag

It is pi day… 3.14.  And it is the birthday of Albert Einstein. How appropriate is that? It is also the day that I head into the final lap of preparation for the April 10th lecture and workshop. All the energy, all the work, all the efforts, all the insights, dreams, experiences, training, learning, studying, etc. etc. etc. is going to be focused there.  It is who I am… it is what I do… it is why I am here.  I am a teacher of the New Consciousness and on that day, I am publicly Coming Out.  Here goes.

peace………..ag

It’s cold and wet out there today.  Welcome back from the island.

Still getting up earlier  and going to sleep earlier than usual.  And the spring forward one hour this morning didn’t help either.  This has been the most obvious time zone effect I have ever experienced. Is it because it was four hours difference instead of the usual three?   Or, more likely, because I’m older than I’ve ever been.  Whatever the reason, this will be my last day of pure rest and recuperation before getting back down to the business of creating and promoting April 10th.

peace…………ag

Several special awarenesses today.  First, I realized what I actually do.  I am a teacher of the New Consciousness.  I teach people the difference between inside and outside.  It’s as simple as that.  And that’s what I’m going to be teaching on April 10th.  Two, I realized that everything else I do is secondary to that.  Pretty simple when you come right down to it.

peace …………..ag

Back on schedule.  Still a little groggy from the four hour time shift but I expect that be over by the end of the weekend at the latest.  Starting next week it’s full throttle for the April 10th lecture and workshop.  The goal, as you may remember, is to fill the hall with enough people from the school to have them realize that this is something they should do at the start of every semester.

My motive is good.  It’s not about me or money but about the teachings… that we are truly all one… and when we say I AM that is fact… and everything else we say about ourselves is just adjectives which we should use for the good and betterment of all and not just for our own greedy little beings. This is what the New Consciousness is all about and it will come to pass on Earth someday.  The only question is how much suffering we all have to go through before it does.

peace…..ag

Would you believe it?  I have been posting every day since January 1 including trips and on vacation and in airports and… when is the first time I miss one?  The first day I’m back home.  I’d like to think it was the four hour time gap, but I did have a full day of work and did lots of things I needed to do and simply forgot to post… until 12:25 this morning when I awoke with an ‘oh shit’ realization.  Now the only question is whether I can remember how to switch the publication date from this morning, March 11th to yesterday, March 10th.  Shhhh.  Don’t tell anyone.

peace…….ag