This place is supposed to be hot.  Whenever they report about it on the nightly news, it is over 90 degrees… often gets up into the 100s.  This morning, sitting in our friends’ kitchen, I’m wearing a sweater and keeping the sliding glass door to the patio closed because it’s so cold.  “Coldest day of the year,” says our friend… and rainy to boot.  We did this once before in Cancun.  One week of the coldest, wettest, weather that resort had ever had.    Hmmmm.   Do I see a pattern here?  Could we be a jinx?

No verse today… I’m on vacation… and too cold.

peace…….ag

I have been very aware within the past several days of how certain things that I have been doing with the best of intentions can be interpreted quite differently by the person on the other end of the good intention.  I take this as a learning lesson and will add this to my self awareness.  It’s never too late to change and try to become the best me I can be.

#24

LETTING GO OF EGO

The big shift was realizing I didn’t have to leave anything behind.It was all right to just sit here and do nothing but grow older.

I figured I could regress back to the days when I’d been a snail or a worm or some other creature steeped in morphogenetic self-awareness.

Back then, when I left a trail, it wasn’t done purposefully, but only the result of a passing non-intentionality. “One cannot help but leave a mark through life,” say the sages. The key is to remove any purpose from its creation.

Ego, as we know, is a very difficult item to handle, either in its gaining or its rejection. This difficulty, of course, is all part of the game.

………………..

peace……………….ag

It’s amazing the different views I can put on who ‘I’ am.  I can think of ‘me’ as this physical being, this piece of meat that has had all of these awesome spiritual experiences.  When I do, I think that I have work to do…. that I am not that important… that all I have received was not intended for me alone.  That’s when I want to get into my writing and speaking and share what I have been given with others.

…or…

I can be a tiny piece of “I”s outer physical shell, skin falling off… a minuscule fraction of a glimmering Consciousness pervading the universe in all it’s myriad shapes, forms, and potentials. Looking at who I am from a distance, not visible to the Conscious “I” as anything even worthy of focusing attention on… I see no need to force my work on others.  Like “I AM” really needs me to help spread the message.  Right.  Be happy.  Be satchitānanda.  Existence… consciousness… bliss.  I am… I am aware that I am… Wow.

#23

‘I’ can be in several places at once.

I can be here… inside my body…

Inside the bubble that surrounds me…

The event horizon that separates me

from everything else out there.

“I” can be here… inside my everything…

Watching my I in the bubble out there…

Interacting with all the other bubbles…

from all the other I’s.

‘I’ am the being existing between I and “I”.

‘I’ can go back and forth between the two.

‘I’ can see how I fit in to it all.

‘I’ have become my mirror!!!

……………………………..

peace……………..ag

Went to the gym and swam in an attempt to keep this body healthy enough to house the mind for a few years longer.  It’s so much easier to get tired these days.  Another mass shooting this past weekend.   That stuff gets tiring too

#22

The first question had to be…

Who am I?

How do I know this?

Because nothing has meaning

if everything is I.

The only way to know you exist

is for there to be something

that is different from you.

“I” had to separate into “not-I”

to even know “I” exist.

…………….

peace…………ag

Quite a day.  Went to the Fellowship to hear about Integral Education from the president of the School.  It was an excellent and informative talk and I told him so, during the q and a.  However, I added, we both agree on every fact about Aurobindo and his isolation in Alipore jail except that you said “during which time he developed a method of meditation,” and I would rather say, “during which time he had an epiphany”.

And, suddenly the whole room reacted.  The speaker, jerked his head slightly sideways… several people in the room twitched and said “oh”… and everyone repeated, “yes… an epiphany.”  As if they were experiencing a sudden visceral knowing of what Aurobindo felt… not something that he thought of and had created… but something that come to him from inside of his thoughts.  The feeling had been transferred.   If they felt what Sri Aurobindo felt… My job is done.

#21

Knowing that my feeling of I

is the same as your feeling of I

is pretty awesome

Knowing that my actual ‘I’

is the same as your actual ‘I’

is beyond awesome

And that is true no matter who is saying it…

since there is ultimately only one “I”

how awesome is that!

…………………………

peace……………ag

* * *

Yoga class this morning. We did some pranayama… working to one-point the mind.  Same type of thing these blogs are trying to do.  Also just ran into an article comparing Patanjali to modern science.  Yes… yes… yes… it has all been said before in different ways.  Trying to connect with the Oneness at the center of it all.  One way or another, it’s where we all end up.  So why are we fighting it?

“I AM THAT I AM”.

Now… having said and confirmed that… back to our show… The Adventures of I AM, by David Silverman.

#20

I AM your personal Superhero.

You can call me “_______”…

or… you can call me “I”.

My Superpower?

I move between worlds…

at infinite speed.

The world inside

The world outside.

I AM in the middle.

I slip back and forth…

between the two…

same as you.

But a human is clueless…

of the world se is in…

at any given time.

My goal is to make you aware…

of where you are looking…

so you don’t screw up so much.

………………………..

peace……………..ag

Big social day, today.  Lunch with a friend, then a couple coming over tonight for dinner, plus, a basketball finals and a baseball game on TV, plus entering my hospice visits from yesterday onto the computer.  When am I supposed to do any actual writing?  Do I have to? Obviously not.  It’s just something I’m putting on myself.  Funny how we do that.

#19

When the mind goes still…

in meditation…

inspiration…

at the lack of thoughts…

within your head

When nothing is pressing

…no demands

of the world…

your feeling of ‘I’ hops over…

into another place.

………………………

peace…………ag

Too tired to write anything special today.  Here’s a verse from the Tao…

#18

Dear friend…

…we have met before…

pages ago…

lifetimes ago…

…hard to tell…

…time has no meaning

…when it’s always

‘now’.

………………………………….

peace…………….ag

Ever onward. More editing. More writing. Will I ever reach a point where I say “Okay.  Everything is done except sharing it with the world.”? Maybe… maybe not.  Things are getting closer, coming together, writings that I’ve done  at various times seemingly fitting with one another as in a jigsaw puzzle.  Maybe so I can help bring peace to the world… maybe just to keep me busy and think I’m doing something of value.  Does it matter?  I’m happy.

#17

I AM

I have been trying to get back to “I”

Ever since I started to evolve

Now that ‘I’ can do so…

What will ’I’ find?

‘I AM’

At my core is Joy

That’s who “I” AM.

My goal is to live in joy.

Once ‘I’ do… I reconnect.

“I AM”

…………………………

peace…………….ag