Hey, I was going to build on the novel “I” started yesterday, but my daughter sent this email and I thought it was perfect for a post:

So I’m in the café buying my lunch.  It’s one of my favorites – a grilled vegetable Panini with fresh basil pesto and fresh mozzarella.  This was the inspiration for the spread I made on July 4^th.  José always takes care of me.  As I walked up – without a single word – he pointed to the veggie sandwich, I nodded, and he proceeded to fill a separate cup with extra pesto for me.  This is just how I like it.  Beaming, I thanked him for being so good to me and explained how I’m a better chef now because of him… as I modeled my family picnic meal after his lunches.

I walked to the cashier (a very grumbly, pessimistic 19 year old), smiled and this is our conversation:

“Hi Karen,” I said

She smiled and said, “I don’t know how you do it.  You’re always so happy.”

Thinking about my recent and ongoing depressive state, I laughed and said, “Ha… you don’t know me that well.  You only see me here.  I have my moments.”

“We all do,” she said.  “But you always manage to smile and be so happy.”

“Well,” I said, “I guess it just helps to smile.  Even when things aren’t going so well… it can help.”

As I walked away, beaming from ear to ear… I briefly thought about my life, my finances, my love life, my current situation… and smiled even more.  Sometimes it just takes a grilled veggie sandwich to make one truly happy.

peace……ag

Up early, today.  Shelly went out to babysit and I’m here alone and couldn’t stay in bed.  Silverman here, by the way, but you already figured the out.  Got nothing to say right now… ag gave me some of his article to edit so I’ll do that and worry about what comes later later.   Gotta get more coffee.

Busy morning already.  Would you believe?  A neighbor called to say my car was parked in a construction zone right next to a NO PARKING sign.  I know the sign wasn’t there when I parked last night, but good luck trying to prove that to the judge if some meter maid would have come along handing out tickets.  I moved the car.

I can see what ag’s talking about.  Ideas come that seem so easy, so right on the money, and you realize you’re one step closer to what it is you have wanted all along.  I swear, once he had me put up the “This is the poorest I’m ever going to be for the rest of my life” on my bulletin board, it has been.   Except for some of these market corrections, of course, but that’s minor shit.  I told you Shelly and I are going to St. Croix in a month, right?  How bad can that be.

Anyway, like I’ve posted on some other site… ever since ag and The Elder have come into my life, things are looking up.  And here’s one of The Elder’s poems just for kicks.      I live in the body

See you tomorrow.

peace……….ag

Slept well last night.  It was the first night in a while that I did not go to bed thinking about the quantum physics article.  Then again… there are a number of things I could do to rephrase it… make it clearer… make it better.   hmmm…

It’s really amazing.  It is now about a quarter to nine… over 12 hours since that last paragraph was written this morning, prior to heading out of the house for yoga.  I can’t tell you how much has happened… not counting the usual banking, shopping, making meals, watching tv, etc,.   I’m talking about ideas in my mind that clear things up… move things along… tie things together.  I’m taking about wanting to know a little more about Sri Aurobindo for the talk in April, and finding on my desk scholarly article about Arurobindo that I had written back in 1994 when I was still an academic.  I’m talking about bringing this ever closer to getting it out there.  I’m talking big steps.

On a slightly different note, Silverman has been pushing to get more air time and perhaps that is the way to go.

peace……………ag

Still feeling it in my thighs from backbends in Saturday morning’s yoga class.  I’m walking like an old man… especially going down stairs.  Ah well… still managed to swim 1/2 mile this morning at the gym, so I guess I’m not dead yet.

Met a woman in the hot tub with  great big smile on her face.  “I don’t know what you’re thinking,” I said, “but the smile is great.”  “I go inside to places that make me happy,” she said.  “Way to go,” I laughed, “that’s what my field of study is.”  And I told her all about phenomenology.  “And what do you do.” I asked.  “I’m a psychotherapist,” she said with a grin.  Another example of science and spirit coming together.  Cool.

Wow.  What a day this is turning into.  Finished Shredding the Event Horizon.  Still needs editing, flushing out… but has reached the other side of the chasm.  And I contact several people regarding my workshops… and the Landlord says we can get the new refrigerator and all sorts of stuff… Ever Better.

peace…………ag

tbc

So here’s a thought.  The plot thickens.  But wait, there’s more.  Same thought.  Different words.

Great meeting this morning at CIF.  Talk about Sri Aurobindo and how he kept a diary following his spiritual progress and experiences.  Great stuff.  Insight kind of stuff.  Met a bunch of my old friends, a couple of former students, and made a couple of new contacts.  Then there is the fabulous dahl and rice and salad after the talk.

Other things are also happening in my life that I find fascinating.  I am being led in different directions… some of my doing… some of them coming from …’outside’.  The key is making things ever better and if the world is starting to do things that make it better to you… how bad is that?

The writing is moo-ding-blight-shalong.  I still need the pivot point to the end. That’s enough for tonight.  Phyl and I are going to watch a movie.  See you tomorrow.

peace………ag

FMBR meeting last night.  Fifty people or so, IQ in the room must have averaged 140 at least.  The talk was about remote viewing.  How scientists are sending people out to various different locations while back in a lab, sometimes all the way across the country, subjects who know nothing about where the person is are drawing pictures of what the person is seeing.  The tie-ins are amazing.  Sure there are misses.  Not everybody is able to get rid of their own thoughts long enough to pick up on the thoughts of others.  However, the rate and degree of connection is quite remarkable.  “We live in a quantum world,” said the speakers.  Well… yes.  We do.  Now if only enough of us realizes we were all connected the world might be more peaceful.

Heck of a day writing.  Haven’t been at it long, but the direction it’s going seems to be a good one. Sometimes I wonder if I’ve really added anything or not… I just seem to keep making revisions.  But little by little it seems to get farther and farther along.  Ever Better.

Meeting friends for dinner in half an hour.  And now I’m back.  Did more writing, watching the news. doing this post, going to bed.  Got another meeting to go to at 11am.  Busy, busy, busy.

peace……..ag

Cleaning people here today.  Doing my best to stay out of their way.  “Sorry,” says Lia as I step around her in the hallway. “No,no,” I protest, “I am in your way.”

Why am I so exhausted?  I slept well.  Is there too much on my plate?  qp article… CIF lecture… hospice… blogging… preparing meals… living in general?  How did I do it before I retired?  I once attended a session where the teacher pointed out that there are 24 hours in a day and if you stop doing one thing, something else will show up to fill the vacant time/space.  He was right.  I think I’ll fill the next hour with a nap.

Short post today.  I’m off to Palo Alto for a meeting of the Foundation for Mind-Being Research.  Once a month. Right up my alley.  I’ll report on it tomorrow.

peace……..ag

Hospice day, today.  9 0’clock meeting with the doctor and nurses to discuss our patients, what’s happening, any changes, how’s the family… and then out to cover my round as chaplain and see my patients. It’s amazing.  Talk about being having to be in the here and now.  We’ll get into this more down the road.

Was given lots of stuff today.  What does that mean?  One of the nurses brought a bunch of lemons from a tree in her yard.  Took three… gave one to an aide caring for one of my patients.  Doctor B passed out a bowl full of tiny two inch long Swiss army knives.  Take one, he said.  Or take two.  He had just won an auction for 63 lbs. of Swiss army knives on the GSA website.  Go figure.  Then one of my patients, a 52 year old who’s mother had died, pointed to a bag on the floor.  “Do you like tequila,” he said.  “Her relatives brought it up from Mexico, I don’t drink it.”   I went home with four bottles. Why not?

Then back to the qp article.  I see it in my mind.  It’s putting it into words that’s the challenge.  Just like this blog.

peace……..ag

Back from the doctor.  Good news.  My friend’s cancer hasn’t progressed.  That’s great.  Especially since she has decided not to fight it, but rather to make her body as inhospitable as possible, by proper eating, supplements, and yoga so it leaves on its own.  Fascinating.

Seven hours since the previous paragraph.  Been writing all day.  Only a few paragraphs, but it’s the nub of what I want to say.  Keep going over and over it.  I’m exhausted.

Just got a call that my wife’s Aunt Helen died.  She was ninety-six.  Had been living on her own down in Florida.  Was diagnosed with a mass in the pancreas less than a month ago.  Sold her apartment, moved up to New England to be near her daughter.  Began to feel pain, went into hospice, asked to be put in a coma, went to sleep, died in two days.  Way to go, Aunt Helen.  Even in death you are teaching us how to live. RIP.

peace……….ag